
I have a hard time having a good time, at the third or fourth discotheque I drink so much I accidentally find myself happy. - James Yeh
When I move a finger on one of my hands, the corresponding digit on the other hand moves involuntarily. - Jim Vallet
Steve drove all night, thinking he was getting somewhere. - Pete Anderson
We dedicate this last gig to Stephanie: the only chick we’ve all dated. - Seth Lind
I spent over ten years in search of a drink. - Gary Arnold

Gather round children, and I’ll you the story of John Void, the man who could not write a personal check. - Joe Birbiglia

The man wondered where he left his pencil sharpener. - Cyrus Highsmith

I heard the siren go off and my first thought was, “I love this song.” – Per Giotto